Substance Abuse
Issues of Addiction
Erik carries US credentials as a Master Addiction Counsellor and has worked for years in the area of substance abuse treatment and prevention. He can work with older and younger family members to help them face, work through and grow from drinking and drugging issues and refer to treatment centers if that should be called for.
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*Talk with your child honestly. Don't wait to have "the drug talk" with your child. Make discussions about tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs part of your daily conversation. Know the facts about how drugs can harm your child. Clear up any wrong information, such as "everybody drinks" or "marijuana won't hurt you." Be clear about family rules for use of tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs.
*Really listen to your child. Encourage your child to share questions and concerns about tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs. Do not do all the talking or give long lectures.
*Help your child develop self-confidence. Look for all the good things in your child -- and then tell your child how proud you are. If you need to correct your child, criticize the action, not your child. Praise your child's efforts as well as successes.
*Help your child develop strong values. Talk about your family values. Teach your child how to make decisions based on these standards of right and wrong. Explain that these are the standards for your family, no matter what other families might decide.
*Be a good example. Look at your own habits and thoughts about tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs. Your actions speak louder than words.
*Help your child deal with peer pressure and acceptance. Discuss the importance of being an individual and the meaning of real friendships. Help your child to understand that he does not have to do something wrong just to feel accepted. Remind your child that a real friend won't care if he does not use tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs.
*Make family rules that help your child say "no." Talk with your child about your expectation that he will say "no" to drugs. Spell out what will happen if he breaks these rules. (For example, "My parents said I can't use the car if I drink.") Be prepared to follow through, if necessary.
*Encourage healthy, creative activities. Look for ways to get your child involved in athletics, hobbies, school clubs, and other activities that reduce boredom and excess free time. Encourage positive friendships and interests. Look for activities that you and your child can do together.
*Team up with other parents. Work with other parents to build a drug-free environment for children. When parents join together against drug use, they are much more effective than when they act alone. One way is to form a parent group with the parents of your child's friends. The best way to stop a child from using drugs is to stop his friends from using them too.
*Know what to do if your child has a drug problem. Realize that no child is immune to drugs. Learn the signs of drug use. Take seriously any concerns you hear from friends, teachers, or other kids about your child's possible drug use. Trust your instincts. If you truly feel that something is wrong with your child, it probably is. If there's a problem, seek professional help.
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While addiction is not a conscious choice, the decisions that precede it are conscious to some degree - but even they follow one’s general view of the world. So, uncovering the lifestyle of the individual (our repetitious but unaware patterns) becomes a real asset for managing desire. Managing desire is the main challenge, our new actions (once the lifestyle is made conscious) can then free the individual to resume the good-hard-work of becoming their better selves.
An Adlerian approach to alcohol and other drug (AOD) issues is fully respectful of “the biology of desire” as presented in Marc Lewis’ book by the same name (ISBN 978-1-61039-712-4). He aptly subtitled the blockbuster, “Why addiction is not a disease.” These are not mutually exclusive concepts. Feel free to contact Erik to discuss his approach.
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